|
|
|
|
|
|
Disturbing Behavior
|
|
Strategies for dealing with disturbing behavior:
1. Divert the problem behavior by channeling it into an acceptable activity. If programs are being interrupted by the "underground trading" of baseball cards, establish a time for trading.
2. Prevent predictable problem behavior. If the young people have been taking standardized tests in school all day, offer non-taxing activities that help them unwind physically and emotionally.
3. Set clear limits on behavior and enforce the limits. Youth workers and young adolescents can work together to define rules that they agree are clear, logical and fair. If everybody knows that young people are not allowed to hang out in the gym but must sign up for activities or leave, they will understand a youth worker's directive to clear the gym so a gymnastics class can begin. Power struggles between adults and young people can be avoided or defused when youth workers can cite reasons for rules that the youth themselves have had a voice in making, rather than operating from the position of "Because I said so."
4. Protect young adolescents from harmful or overly stressful situations. If younger adolescents are being hazed, if one young person is being scapegoated, or if rival groups are antagonizing each other, design program activities that temporarily separate the groups or that confront the issue through limit-setting, sensitive discussion and required collaboration.
5. Teach alternative, acceptable behaviors to replace unacceptable behavior. Give young adolescents opportunities to practice the alternatives. If young adolescents make unkind comments about the senior citizens who share your building and are sometimes discourteous, to them, start a skills exchange that begins with discussions, about attitude towards the elderly and provides opportunities for teenagers and elderly people to benefit from one another.
6. Make sure program activities provide whatever emotional or technical support young adolescents need.
The fine line between too much and too little structure varies every day and in every situation for young adolescents, so it is not easy to know just how much structure an activity requires. Youth workers need the correct skills to diagnose a group of young adolescents and the flexibility to frequently readjust the amount of structure they provide. If planning a session for a camping trip is deteriorating into horseplay, it could be because the young adolescents do not know what to do next or how to do it.
7. Have established, understood criteria for behavior. Youth workers should develop a process for removing disruptive people from individual program activities and from the program as a whole. Also, there should be an established mechanism through which the offending participant can return to the program.
8. Remove the offender from the group. When a youth worker is confronted with unacceptable behavior from either an individual
or a group of young people, he or she can remove the offender from the group. The established policy regarding removal must always be followed.
9. Gently put the problem back on the young person. For example: YOUTH: "Do you think I should sign up for tutoring or gymnastics?" YOUTH WORKER: "You were in gymnastics last time. You have been saying you are behind in math. I would suggest tutoring." YOUTH: (defiantly) "But this is my free choice, and I hate math! You can't tell me what to do. YOUTH WORKER: "You are right, the choice is yours. But you asked me what I thought and I told you. Now it's up to you.'
10. Help the young adolescent(s) gain insight into their behavior. This often can be done by relating behavior to feelings. For example: "You have been short-tempered and insulting with each other and with me for the past two days. This is unusual for you. I wonder if it has anything to do with the butterflies we are all feeling about the opening of our show tomorrow?"
11. Help young adolescents clarify the reason behind their behavior. "You've been picking on Jim a lot lately. What's going on between the two of you?"
12. Use humor to get your point across. Humor can often be effective in defusing volatile situations. Remember, however, never to make fun of young people or to laugh at them. (Self-directed humor often helps.)
13. Ignore the behavior altogether. For example, inappropriate attention-seeking behavior is best ignored altogether so long as it is not harmful and you make an all-out attempt to pay attention to the youth when he/she is doing something good. Most behaviors that annoy adults but are not disruptive or distracting the group are best ignored.
14. Acknowledge that the behavior is normally unacceptable, but permit it due to unique circumstances. For example, young people are complaining about having to clean up the craft room and store their projects that are at a fragile stage. The youth worker might acknowledge that although it is a rule that the room be clean after each class, since the projects are fragile and no one else will be using room, they may leave their projects and equipment out as long as the equipment is cleaned.
15. Tolerate behavior by giving a warning or offering a grace period. For example, a youth worker has been working with a boy for several weeks to get him to take part in activities, rather than passively watch or heckle other youngsters. The boy finally participates in an activity but gets into a name-calling argument with another member. Instead of telling both to sit on the sidelines for 10 minutes, which is a typical consequence for name-calling, the youth worker gives them a stern warning, gets them back into the activity and has a talk with them afterwards.
16. Use subtle cues that young adolescents understand and respond to because of your relationship with them. A subtle hand signal, clearing your throat, or a muttered "Uh! " may get the message across that the behavior must stop, while helping the offender save face.
17. Do the unexpected. Surprise an unruly group or individual by doing something creative or totally unexpected For example, pull an individual offender aside for a quiet, supportive talk; reverse roles with the offender, or stop the activity and interject a fun, energetic, tension-releasing activity.
Adapted from: Raymond S. Fant, "Child Care and Foster Parenting Skills," in 3:00 to 6:00: Planning Programs for Young Adolescents.
© 1996 The Domestic and Foreign Missionary Society PECUSA
This article is from Handbook for Ministries with Young Adolescents, a publication of the Ministries with Young People Cluster of the Episcopal Church Center, New York, NY. Permission is granted for congregational use and use by diocesan youth coordinators. You may order this resource from Episcopal Parish Services.
|
|
|
|
|
