Families with Adolescents
The task for most families---and it is by no means an easy one---is to maintain emotional involvement, in the form of concern and caring, while gradually moving toward a relationship characterized by great behavioral autonomy.
A key task of families with adolescents is increasing the flexibility of family boundaries to include children’s independence and often grandparents’ frailties.
The secondary tasks include:
a. Shifting of parent-child relationships to permit adolescents to move in and out of our system;
b. Refocusing on midlife marital and career issues;
c. Beginning shift towards joint-caring for older generation.
Principles of Family Perspective as Applied to Ministries with Youth
A family perspective in ministries with youth seeks to:
1. Sensitize the minister to the realities of family life;
2. Sensitize those who serve individuals to broaden their perspective by viewing the individual through the prism of adolescent household life;
3. Help adolescent families become better partners with the many institutions they deal with regularly, including the congregation itself.
Application
1. Infusing a family perspective in all youth programming:
redesigning existing programming; creatively involving families or connecting with family experiences in new programming.
2. Bridging experiences:
connecting youth program activities with family life; re-entry session for parents of young people who were involved in an intensive experience, such as social action projects, and retreats.
3. Programs specifically designed for parents:
educational experiences that communicate information on adolescent growth, develop skills for communication and for parenting; parent support groups.
4. Educational programs for parents and adolescents:
One way to integrate parents into youth ministries programming is to design certain programs with parent sessions that are incorporated. A course on human sexuality might follow this sequence: a parents-only session, followed by three youth sessions, another parents-only session, then three more youth sessions, and finally a parent/youth closing session. Other possibilities for parent/youth programming include: (a) family activities and programs that build communication, trust and closeness; (b) parent/youth programs that discuss moral values and promote discussion; (c) worship and Scripture resources for use in the home; (d) justice and service projects that involve the whole family (perhaps at regularly scheduled times during the year); (e) parent/youth retreat experiences; and (f) home-based Advent and Lenten programs (as individual families or clusters).
5. Parallel programs for parents and adolescents:
Parallel programs offer the opportunity for parents and adolescents to experience the same program content but in formats geared to their needs and life stage. For example, parents could take an adult course while their son or daughter participated in an adolescent course on the same topic. For many congregations this is the beginning of an adult education curriculum.
Another example of parallel programming can be support groups. Youth ministries can provide parent support groups and adolescent support groups on the same topics or crisis situations---for example, in cases of divorce or separation.
6. Ritual and liturgical experiences:
celebrating adolescent rites of passage (life transitions, faith transitions):
preparing adolescent/family liturgical experiences;
redesigning Confirmation preparation and celebrations.
7. Advocacy:
combining the efforts of congregations families to organize and advocate around youth issues in the community, such as education, childcare, etc.
