"Our purpose is not to solve the conflict in the Episcopal Church but rather to promote a culture of reconciliation in the life of the church, a paradigm shift away from win-lose advocacy to faith-based reconciliation," said Cox, rector of Christ the King Church in Santa Barbara, California.

About 65 lay and clergy Episcopalians from across the nation are attending "A Third Way," a faith-based reconciliation training seminar being held through May 25 at St. James Church in the Wilshire district of Los Angeles.

"There are two current cultures, militant movements, driving the conflict in the church, militant progressivism and militant orthodoxy," said Cox.

"This is about creating a third way, a positive way, a proactive way, in the life of the Episcopal Church. It also offers people hope. Our experience has been that the whole seriousness of the conflict hasn't changed but people come away with a feeling of hope."
 
Hope, individual and collective, is what the Rev. Tricia Rosso came seeking. A deacon at St. Matthew's Church in San Mateo, California, she wants "to become a reconciler because being a person with a disability, at times I don't feel I'm being heard.

"I would like to find my voice," added Rosso, who was born with cerebral palsy and limited sight. "I want to find the language that won't be high-energy buzz words that put people on edge. I tell the truth a lot of people don't want to hear. I'm very hopeful and excited about these three days, because I want to have transformation in my own life."

'Individual and Collective' Transformation
Cox developed the training following a 1995 Eastern European visit a few months after the collapse of the Berlin Wall and Marxism. He recognized the need for a compelling individual and collective moral vision and that "as a person of faith from the Abrahamic tradition, I was carrying in my heart the seed of an ancient moral vision whose time on the world stage had finally come."

The first faith-based reconciliation training seminar was offered in 1996 and "we witnessed the transforming power of the Spirit in bring together polarities to build bridges, demolish walls of hostility and promote the dynamic of forgiveness," said Cox.
 
"We found it also challenged people at the deepest level of being about their relationship with God, to come to that place to surrender and submission to God."

Submission to God, ironically, was a turnoff for Joanne O'Donnell, now a trainer. "When I first attended this training, I stumbled hard over this area and refused to participate in the follow-up exercise," said O'Donnell, an L.A. Superior Court Judge and General Convention deputy who authored Resolution A039, that called for church-wide faith-based reconciliation training.

"As a lesbian committed to the cause of full participation by gay and lesbian people in all ministries of the church, I had an underlying deep suspicion that the notion of God's sovereignty was being used to browbeat me into acknowledging that my life was sinful," she recalled.

"I've thought a lot about it since then; God's sovereignty is the single-most important element of faith-based reconciliation. It's the factor that distinguished it from secular forms of diplomacy and peacemaking, which don't seem to be terribly effective these days."

During her presentation to the gathering, she outlined eight core values which will frame their conversation during the next few days: pluralism; inclusion; peacemaking; justice; forgiveness; healing wounded communities and submission to God and atonement.

Reconciliation's no 'mushy middle'
After 17 years of "watching churches behaving badly" including a split among his own congregation, St. Luke's in Park City, Utah, the Rev. Charles Robinson said he decided to attend the reconcilers seminar because: "I believe that, if people are offered a model of health, they'll take it."

"One of my first positions was in a Baptist church in East Texas that split right down the middle -- it was a Hatfields and McCoys kind of thing -- it wasn't over theology. It was over who's going to be in control, who's going to set the agenda and I've watched this happen, over and over and over again," he said.

With St. Luke's on the rebound, he is proactive. "Right now, the Communion's fighting about sexuality, but that's a red herring. The issue is how do you deal with differences and how do you do it in some way other than taking sides and demonizing people who don't agree with you if you're going to have any kind of witness to the world? Why would anyone want to join a church like that?"

Nancy Lowry said her role as a trainer grew out of her love for organic chemistry and a training session three years ago through Grace Church in Amherst, Massachusetts.

"Organic chemistry has a horrible reputation but it's a beautiful way of thinking," said the Hampshire College professor. "It's been my mission in life to bring my students through that perception into a new way of thinking, and this seemed to be an extension of that."

For Lowry, reconciliation means her faith is more than just "my mouthing off. I have to take a part. It doesn't mean you move to a mushy middle. It means you move in a way in which you listen and speak, it means opening doors instead of slamming them. It's the only way out."

From National to International and Communion-wide Movement 
What began as a local training 11 years ago has grown into a diocesan and national movement. Cox hopes eventually it will go communion-wide. Under the auspices of the International Center for Diplomacy and Religion, Cox also trained Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, in faith-based reconciliation in places such as Kashmir and Pakistan.

"The Anglican Communion, given its nature and DNA, has a unique vocation in the Body of Christ in the area of faith-based reconciliation. The question is how can we empower the Anglican Communion to embrace its calling. We have an opportunity to bring the reconciling power of Jesus Christ into society in a very constructive way. It's about saying really...Jesus Christ is part of the answer."