By Jennifer Enriquez
Kids everywhere are returning to school, and as parents we hope that they get the education they need to help them succeed in life. Everyone agrees math and science are important, but what else? There is debate in the secular world about what that education looks like. Which subjects are appropriate for kids? Without a shared value system, it is difficult for public schools to navigate. In the church, though, it’s a lot easier. We have a shared value system, and it is clear: We are all equally beloved children of God, and anything that says any person is better than any other person, for any reason, is a lie.
Still, many wonder when is the right time to talk with kids about racism, injustice, reconciliation? Early childhood experts report that teaching kids about dismantling racism begins while they are in the womb. The things we talk about with tiny humans help them build neuro pathways, a schema, to help them make sense of the world when they’re able to understand more fully. For example, we talk to kids about colors long before they “know their colors.” I remember many trips through the grocery store pointing out items and colors to my kids, even though they were nowhere near “knowing” those things. Talking with kids about race is similar. If we wait until the time when kids “know” or we think they’re “ready to understand,” it’s hard to undo all that they’ve absorbed from the world.
Whether we talk to our kids about race or not, our culture is bombarding all of us with messages about it and every other human hierarchy every day. It’s more than TV, movies, and other media. When you go to the grocery store, what is the skin color of the person mopping the floor, in contrast with checkers or managers? Who are the people working at fast food restaurants, in contrast with those at more upscale places? Whether or not skin color is in the mix, our culture constantly sends us messages about who are the most valuable people.
These messages are impossible to avoid, and it’s hard to navigate on your own. Thankfully there are a variety of resources that will help parents get started.
- Miriam Willard McKenney shares some picture books that are a helpful place to start in this blog post. Miriam is a career librarian and offers a variety of resources for parents and caregivers.
- Jennifer Harvey’s book, “Raising White Kids,” is helpful because she discusses some common objections to talking with young kids about race and why these objections are not valid. She also shares experiences from her own parenting journey that will resonate with most of us.
- You can find a helpful set of frequently asked questions on the Tell Me the Truth About Racism website. Tell Me the Truth About Racism offers a set of historical stories told through the lens of Christian faith. The stories can be told in an intergenerational setting, in Sunday school or even at summer camp. If you’re interested in sharing these stories at your church or school, more information can be found on the website.
Perhaps most important is to get yourself comfortable talking about racism and all the other injustices in our world. Spend some time reflecting on your own thoughts/ feelings/ fears, talking about these things with anyone, not just kids. If you can, find a partner with whom you can have honest and brave conversations. It could be your life partner, another parent, or someone from your church who you know cares deeply about these issues, too. Becoming Beloved Community has lots of resources for educating yourself if you just don’t know where to start, all of which can be found here. One thing is for sure: NOT talking about racism or any other inequity will NOT make it go away. When we name it, and talk about it, we can take away its power.
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Jen Enriquez is a formation professional and with the Rev. Will Bouvel created Tell Me the Truth About Racism. Their work was spread across the country with the help of a Becoming Beloved Community grant in 2021. To date, over 70 lay and ordained formation leaders are telling the stories to children and adults all over the U.S.