By Heather Melton, (she/her) UTO Staff Officer

If we took a look back at all my UTO newsletters, we’d probably find that every February I talk about Valentine’s Day. I know there are a lot of feelings about this day, but I love it in all its elementary school glory. Sadly, I no longer have elementary school kiddos, which means I’ve been overthinking Valentine’s Day and what it means to me and how to make it meaningful and impactful around our household. I often share a quote by Fr. Vincent Donovan in which he explains that when we say thank-you, what we are really trying to say is, “my love to your love.” His point is that often when we are expressing gratitude, it is because someone has done a kindness for us that we either cannot repay or choose not to repay. We are recognizing the act of kindness as a sign of love and relationship; and therefore, when we say thank-you, it is not just about the gift/support/kind word we received, but it is about the love shared between two people. 

So what if Valentine’s Day were really about gratitude and giving thanks for the connections in our lives?

Maybe it is a chance to say thank-you to folks who help and support us that we might not know so well. I started thinking about my own congregation, which is a big parish with people doing all sorts of things. I realized there were a lot of folks I’m thankful for that I don’t know, so I thought about how I could use UTO to help people connect and acknowledge the love shared. 

I am fully aware that Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday are very close together this year, and that for many congregations, adding one more thing prior to Lent is one thing too many, but this is an easy thing to have out on a table at coffee hour or at your annual Shrove Tuesday celebration. The idea is to provide small cards and the invitation to write a valentine to groups or ministries in your congregation to say thank-you for sharing your gift with us. 

Do you love the music at your church? Send a valentine to the choir. Grateful that the church is clean and safe each week? Write a note to those who clean. Love the communion bread? Send a note to the bread-baking team. You get the idea. It doesn’t matter if you can name the folks directly who contribute to making your experience at church better, the idea is to simply say thank-you.

The notes can then go on a bulletin board or to the ministry leaders. (Don’t want to come up with a card? I made one that you can download and print locally. Access it here.) You can then take one of the fancy Valentine’s boxes (or make your own) and turn it into a giant UTO Blue Box, Valentine’s Day edition, so folks know where to put their cards and donations (you can see mine in the header above).

Then I thought about all the ways we take care of one another in our family. While my heart was filled with gratitude, I realized we aren’t always great at saying thank-you to one another for the small things. I decided that we would start a Valentine’s Day gratitude board. I took a poster board, made portions for all the people in our house (pets included!) and had markers readily available. That way, when someone did something to care for us, we could capture it on the board. We started our board on Feb. 1, and we plan to celebrate all the things on the board (silly things especially) on Valentine’s Day as a family. 

The last thing I want to mention is that we are living in a difficult moment in time. I would be remiss if I didn’t also suggest that Valentine’s Day is a great time to say thank-you to our friends, family, coworkers, and community members who make our lives better. It’s also a great time to take a moment to care for yourself. I once had a doctor say to me that we all must stop hating our bodies so much for not being perfect and give thanks for all the things they do perfectly. We need to take time to give thanks for our organs that chug along often without notice, for our bodies that are strong and fragile and uniquely ours. Do something to take care of yourself as a way to say thank-you to your body and spirit for how they carry you throughout each day. 

This Valentine’s Day, I hope you’ll find ways to practice gratitude for all those around you. Know that I am grateful for all of you who join me in this unique work of practicing gratitude, a constant reminder that everything is a gift from God.